Newly acquired

Lately, I find myself paying attention to my thoughts, my beliefs, my actions. I guess any reflective person is apt to do that from time to time. The fact that I'm approaching my 35th birthday and that I'm one of two people who is solely responsible for the welfare of three, precious children makes me find the experience more relevant and important than in times past. I laugh now at the ridiculously serious self-evaluations I used to make of myself in regard to my obsessive and childish "love" life. Gaining renewed and, hopefully, more realistic perspectives is definitely a bonus of getting older. Of course, I can't say that without feeling compelled to scream to the heavens that I'm still a kid at heart!

With my childish outburst purged, I'll continue on with my most recent self-evaluation. As a long time resident of the Dallas area (sporadically throughout my life), I have grown accustomed to a revered tradition around here: shopping. For most people, there are 3 things to do here: shop, watch tv or eat. Of course, some manage to do a combination of these at the same time - the more the better. No doubt that I'm completely over-generalizing but, unfortunately, it is not far from the truth.

Even though I'm an environmentalist and I espouse the doctrines of the simple living movement, I still find myself spending my spare time to acquire more products. From seemingly benign things such as vegetable seeds to valentine cards for my son to take to school, I find myself buying things constantly. I'm starting to wonder why. Although there are definitely things that one needs to purchase, and there are even products that are probably ok to purchase, many of the things I find myself buying I could either make myself, borrow from friends or family or find on freecycle. Why do I feel so compelled to buy, to acquire?

It came to me this evening that I enjoy the experience of buying. When I tried to understand why the only explanation I could come up with is that I'm excited about the "hunt" for whatever it is that is "right for me", the thrill of finding something for a good price, the physical enjoyment of exchanging money and receiving something in return. How boring!

As I was thinking of all this, it occurred to me that a new way to direct my focus would be to attempt to acquire experiences rather than products. What if I directed money toward things that don't require the stripping of more resources from the earth? What if I directed my resources and energy toward things I want to learn about? to teach my children? What fun things could we participate in? How can we help others? Also, how can I use my creativity to do these things without purchasing more than is absolutely necessary?

This epiphany tonight seems quite simple to me and is definitely not ground-breaking but considering the social climate of my surroundings it is revolutionary. I'm surrounded by people who aren't even aware that the silly little knick knacks that they feel that have to have are, not only ugly, but are pointless, frivolous and obscene. When I think of people who struggle to just eat and contrast that with a suburban, SUV-driving, cell-phone talking executive buying some cheap toy for his/her tv-watching, text-messaging, over weight child, I just want to hurl. I guess I have a bit of a bias.

I guess my next self-evaluation should be on my prejudice against suburban, SUV-driving, cell-phone talking executives but until then I'll enjoy further reflection on my newly acquired revelation.