Warmth

As the days become longer and sunset later, I have had the opportunity to escape from the confines of our home when my husband returns home from his life beyond these walls. I simply walk out the front door and go on a walk. I don't go very far - I merely circle a small area around our neighborhood but to see the sky, albeit an often cloudy one, and to hear less noise than what I'd heard throughout the day is refreshing and allows me to feel I have escaped momentarily.

It's amazing how restorative it is for me to walk away for the simple purpose of being alone even if it's only for 20-30 minutes. Yesterday, it was cold and misty when I ventured forth into the world beyond and, although I found myself chilled and less than comfortable, I was happy to be away for just a little while. As I listened to my breath come in and out as I walked briskly along and felt the chill upon my skin, I allowed my senses to accept the new, pleasant sensations and let my tense muscles relax. It was nice to just be and to not be needed if even for a second.

It's amusing to write about these moments now while the chaos surrounds me and finds me at every turn. As I write, Dylan is weaving his way through my legs (I'm typing while standing because sitting with a computer is out of the question), Evan is babbling at my feet and bumping into me and Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving DVD is playing in the background (Neil is crazy about Charlie Brown and could care less if the show is not relevant in the middle of February.) Although I can't exactly relax in this atmosphere and must constantly reel in my frustrations and aggravations, the fact that I am experiencing some moments of sanity may help me find some peace amid the crazy chaos or, at the very least, provide some brief calm to my normally hectic days.

Last night after I returned from the cold, I reentered our noise-filled house and was greeted by my three little boys and my handsome husband. They were happy I had returned and, although I was tired, I was happy to be back. As I warmed up from being out in the cold, I found myself surrounded by all three of my little boys as I sat in the floor: one behind me patting my back, one hugging me in the front and the oldest trying to style my messy hair. It was nice to be welcomed back and I'm glad I was at peace enough to cherish it.