Can

After months of reading, acquiring equipment and quiet contemplation, I took my first step toward preserving food. Last night, I lined up my first batch of canned goods, jalapeno salsa, and momentarily paused. The twelve jars, with their spicy fill still bubbling, represented a big accomplishment to me. I have wanted to do this for years. I couldn't help but wonder if I shared this moment with my grandmother who passed away in January. What was a normal part of life for her, was a new frontier for me, yet I felt that my canning just these few jars was creating a bridge between my generation where we purchase everything to hers where doing things from scratch was the norm.

I also was reminded of the book by Barbara Kingsolver that I recently read, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle which was truly an inspiration. In her book, she recounts her family's commitment to eat local foods or those they produced themselves for a year. With her poetic view of the ordinary and her soulful way of expressing it, she made a seemingly mundane topic magical, alluring and exciting. Thanks to her inspiration and that of other locavores, I made my jalapeno salsa from all locally grown produce, including onions from my own garden plot at a local community garden.

Tonight, I will find out if my first efforts at canning were truly successful when I test the seals on the jars. I'm filled with a tiny bit of apprehension since I only have books to reference regarding how to do it properly. Although the books I have are excellent (example: Ball's Complete Book of Home Preserving: 400 Delicious and Creative Recipes for Today), I still can't help but wish I had a coach to whom I could turn for my questions. As I watched my hands working in the kitchen last night, I secretly hoped the knowledge of my ancestors flowed through my hands and guided me. Magical and poetic thinking, I know, but preparing and preserving food for your family is a soulful activity that can open the doors to a deep and meaningful way of life that I think many of us these days are missing.

So, tonight when the kids are asleep in their beds, I will slowly test the seals on each of the 12 jars. With each jar, I will hold my breath. I know I'll be supremely disappointed if any of them fail, although I'll refuse to be discouraged from future attempts. I do hope though that I did it right and that I'll be able to be confident that I can, after all, can.