High standards

I realized just now that my standards have really changed these days. I guess you could say that they've shifted away from me and toward my children. As I was preparing for a morning outing with the boys, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror: hair in a lazy bun, no makeup, teeth unbrushed, clothes covered in pancake mix and I decided that perhaps I could make myself look a little "less than shitty".

The sad thing is that is my new standard for myself. When I said those words to myself (in my head and not out loud - I do have a little sanity left), I was struck by how little regard I have for myself these days. It's not that I don't care about myself or how I appear to the world, it's that I seriously don't have time to. Actually, maybe I don't care. Well, maybe I do. Perhaps I'm not sure.

Anyway, so I took a moment and brushed my teeth, put on a bit of makeup. There. I'm still in pancake clothes but I'm at least a little less than shitty. I guess if I change clothes I could be a little less than crappy and if I put clothes on that actually are attractive I might pass for ok. The days of cute, hot or decent are over but at least my boys look good.