Lately, I find myself paying attention to my thoughts, my beliefs, my actions. I guess any reflective person is apt to do that from time to time. The fact that I'm approaching my 35th birthday and that I'm one of two people who is solely responsible for the welfare of three, precious children makes me find the experience more relevant and important than in times past. I laugh now at the ridiculously serious self-evaluations I used to make of myself in regard to my obsessive and childish "love" life. Gaining renewed and, hopefully, more realistic perspectives is definitely a bonus of getting older. Of course, I can't say that without feeling compelled to scream to the heavens that I'm still a kid at heart!
With my childish outburst purged, I'll continue on with my most recent self-evaluation. As a long time resident of the Dallas area (sporadically throughout my life), I have grown accustomed to a revered tradition around here: shopping. For most people, there are 3 things to do here: shop, watch tv or eat. Of course, some manage to do a combination of these at the same time - the more the better. No doubt that I'm completely over-generalizing but, unfortunately, it is not far from the truth.
Even though I'm an environmentalist and I espouse the doctrines of the simple living movement, I still find myself spending my spare time to acquire more products. From seemingly benign things such as vegetable seeds to valentine cards for my son to take to school, I find myself buying things constantly. I'm starting to wonder why. Although there are definitely things that one needs to purchase, and there are even products that are probably ok to purchase, many of the things I find myself buying I could either make myself, borrow from friends or family or find on freecycle. Why do I feel so compelled to buy, to acquire?
It came to me this evening that I enjoy the experience of buying. When I tried to understand why the only explanation I could come up with is that I'm excited about the "hunt" for whatever it is that is "right for me", the thrill of finding something for a good price, the physical enjoyment of exchanging money and receiving something in return. How boring!
As I was thinking of all this, it occurred to me that a new way to direct my focus would be to attempt to acquire experiences rather than products. What if I directed money toward things that don't require the stripping of more resources from the earth? What if I directed my resources and energy toward things I want to learn about? to teach my children? What fun things could we participate in? How can we help others? Also, how can I use my creativity to do these things without purchasing more than is absolutely necessary?
This epiphany tonight seems quite simple to me and is definitely not ground-breaking but considering the social climate of my surroundings it is revolutionary. I'm surrounded by people who aren't even aware that the silly little knick knacks that they feel that have to have are, not only ugly, but are pointless, frivolous and obscene. When I think of people who struggle to just eat and contrast that with a suburban, SUV-driving, cell-phone talking executive buying some cheap toy for his/her tv-watching, text-messaging, over weight child, I just want to hurl. I guess I have a bit of a bias.
I guess my next self-evaluation should be on my prejudice against suburban, SUV-driving, cell-phone talking executives but until then I'll enjoy further reflection on my newly acquired revelation.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
New Heights
Noses are dripping, ears are plugged, babies are screaming and I'm looking for a beer. Well, not yet. It's still early but hey. Can't blame a girl for fantasizing.
3 boys with ear infections, one with bronchitis. The funny thing is it's not that big of a deal. We've been here before and we'll be here again. As I have said all too many times these days, it's amazing what you get used to.
Poor Dylan has ear infections in both ears. You would expect me to say that he's crying and fussy and just plain miserable. Of course, he is but he's also taking it to another level. Literally. Have I mentioned that Dylan is a climber? The child needs a neck brace to keep him from focusing onward and upward. The ground is apparently too boring for him so he's decided to commit every ounce of his strong, little body to climbing chairs, tables or whatever is high enough to make me scream bloody murder when I spot him on it.
While at the doctor today for the second time this week, the pediatrician was amazed how Dylan's being sick wasn't slowing him down a bit as he climbed into a chair and began typing on her computer. (I was holding Evan at the time so it was hard for me to stop him.) Once we got home, he immediately pursued new heights and I decided that I wasn't going to chase the little punk all over the house. Rather than letting his aggravatingly dangerous behavior turn me into psycho, crazy mom who needs a beer NOW, I decided to take the opportunity to be creative. Rather, I tricked the kids into thinking we were just going to have fun and be crazy.
Since Dylan's main objective is to climb into a chair and onto one of the two dining tables we have, I used gates to prevent him from getting to one of them and I took the chairs from the other one and made a "train" in the living room far away from the table. While my oldest son pretended to be taking the train to the playground, Babies R Us (my little consumer) and various other locations, I brought out tons of colorful cups and put them on a small table for the twins to fight over. When Dylan felt the need to climb, he climbed on the "train" or he climbed on a slide that I brought in from the backyard today and placed in the middle of the play room. Who says they have to be outside, right?
All in all, I felt that I was having one of those moments where I think I'm doing ok as a Mom. They're happy. I'm happy. We're all having fun. I could have focused on their being sick and stressed out over and over again about what Dylan was up to now. Instead I challenged myself to make the best of it and I think it worked well enough. It wasn't rocket science and it wasn't the most creative idea I have ever had. If anything, the best thing I did was find a way to take back my house in a way that everyone still had fun. I'm content and the day is almost over. Although it's still early enough in the day that I could still turn into psycho mom, I'll try my best not to.
3 boys with ear infections, one with bronchitis. The funny thing is it's not that big of a deal. We've been here before and we'll be here again. As I have said all too many times these days, it's amazing what you get used to.
Poor Dylan has ear infections in both ears. You would expect me to say that he's crying and fussy and just plain miserable. Of course, he is but he's also taking it to another level. Literally. Have I mentioned that Dylan is a climber? The child needs a neck brace to keep him from focusing onward and upward. The ground is apparently too boring for him so he's decided to commit every ounce of his strong, little body to climbing chairs, tables or whatever is high enough to make me scream bloody murder when I spot him on it.
While at the doctor today for the second time this week, the pediatrician was amazed how Dylan's being sick wasn't slowing him down a bit as he climbed into a chair and began typing on her computer. (I was holding Evan at the time so it was hard for me to stop him.) Once we got home, he immediately pursued new heights and I decided that I wasn't going to chase the little punk all over the house. Rather than letting his aggravatingly dangerous behavior turn me into psycho, crazy mom who needs a beer NOW, I decided to take the opportunity to be creative. Rather, I tricked the kids into thinking we were just going to have fun and be crazy.
Since Dylan's main objective is to climb into a chair and onto one of the two dining tables we have, I used gates to prevent him from getting to one of them and I took the chairs from the other one and made a "train" in the living room far away from the table. While my oldest son pretended to be taking the train to the playground, Babies R Us (my little consumer) and various other locations, I brought out tons of colorful cups and put them on a small table for the twins to fight over. When Dylan felt the need to climb, he climbed on the "train" or he climbed on a slide that I brought in from the backyard today and placed in the middle of the play room. Who says they have to be outside, right?
All in all, I felt that I was having one of those moments where I think I'm doing ok as a Mom. They're happy. I'm happy. We're all having fun. I could have focused on their being sick and stressed out over and over again about what Dylan was up to now. Instead I challenged myself to make the best of it and I think it worked well enough. It wasn't rocket science and it wasn't the most creative idea I have ever had. If anything, the best thing I did was find a way to take back my house in a way that everyone still had fun. I'm content and the day is almost over. Although it's still early enough in the day that I could still turn into psycho mom, I'll try my best not to.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Out of this world
She was unassuming and rare indeed. A tall yet tiny, little lady who flinched at compliments because, surely, you really didn't think she was all that. One might call her meek unless you'd witnessed her fierce protection of animals or preservation of nature. I was surprised by the strength of the loss I felt by losing such a soft and gentle person. She was my grandma and she died last week.
I knew her better than I realized yet I know there was a lot I never knew. In her absence, her historic home echoed with the hollowness of my footsteps as they fell on the hardwood floors. Her quiet voice and gentle nature was in my heart whispering and I wanted to reach out and hug her just one more time. At least I was able to say good-bye to her a few days before she died but it was hard to believe then that I was never going to see her alive again.
Although she was quiet and humble and not one to call attention to herself, we all couldn't help but look for a sign from her. Loud bumps on the floor, huge flocks of birds gathered in her trees being much quieter than usual, and even a UFO sighting that made national news were all hopeful signs that she was still with us. She did mention seeing green men before she died, they say. Would be a good story to tell her great grandchildren some day - just to add some color to their history.
As much as I'd like to say that I've seen a sign, there isn't anything that could replace her presence in our lives, her vitality that was uniquely hers. I can't help but laugh at what she'd think of us speculating about the significance of a huge UFO sighting in her small, largely unknown town the week that she died. She'd smile shyly and humbly and probably mumble some rejection of such a silly notion.
Whether the UFOs, the birds or her spirit is acknowledging her continued existence in some realm or other, I can't say for sure. I can say that she would enjoy listening to us speculate about it since listening to us ramble on about this, that or the other was one of her favorite things to do. Quietly among us, she loved us and I hope she continues to do so.
I knew her better than I realized yet I know there was a lot I never knew. In her absence, her historic home echoed with the hollowness of my footsteps as they fell on the hardwood floors. Her quiet voice and gentle nature was in my heart whispering and I wanted to reach out and hug her just one more time. At least I was able to say good-bye to her a few days before she died but it was hard to believe then that I was never going to see her alive again.
Although she was quiet and humble and not one to call attention to herself, we all couldn't help but look for a sign from her. Loud bumps on the floor, huge flocks of birds gathered in her trees being much quieter than usual, and even a UFO sighting that made national news were all hopeful signs that she was still with us. She did mention seeing green men before she died, they say. Would be a good story to tell her great grandchildren some day - just to add some color to their history.
As much as I'd like to say that I've seen a sign, there isn't anything that could replace her presence in our lives, her vitality that was uniquely hers. I can't help but laugh at what she'd think of us speculating about the significance of a huge UFO sighting in her small, largely unknown town the week that she died. She'd smile shyly and humbly and probably mumble some rejection of such a silly notion.
Whether the UFOs, the birds or her spirit is acknowledging her continued existence in some realm or other, I can't say for sure. I can say that she would enjoy listening to us speculate about it since listening to us ramble on about this, that or the other was one of her favorite things to do. Quietly among us, she loved us and I hope she continues to do so.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
1 car, 2 parents, 3 kids and a long, long trip
Every night for the last few weeks, my oldest son has been asking me to tell the "3 boys go on a trip" story. Perhaps if I keep repeating this fanciful and exciting tale, I might rewire the memories in my brain to reflect a less exhausting trip. Yes, we survived and we're back.
When I had told people that we were going to drive from Dallas, TX, to Salt Lake City, UT, with our 3 boys (oldest being 3 years old), they thought I was plum mad. I agreed pretty much but it was what we had to do in order to go have Christmas with my husband's family. We very much wanted to go. Who would be crazy enough to pass on spending time with a groovy family, in a beautiful, winter wonderland of a city during the holiday season? So, balancing the crazies, we decided it would be crazier not to go and flying just wasn't an option.
After being stripped of my lazy, "can't do it" ways after becoming a parent, I've almost rebelled against my previous tendencies by making my life just a little more hectic and nuts. Ok, so I couldn't find a lot of people who had driven that far (2 full days) with 3 boys as young as mine but we still have to try, don't we? So we planned and planned and planned and we did it and we enjoyed it and we'll never regret it.
To say it went smoothly would be absolute garbage but to say it was as bad as my fears had been prior to leaving would also be wrong. It was fun, exciting and hard. Very hard. It would have been a lot harder though if we hadn't planned it out so well. If there are any of you who are as insane as us, you have our sympathy. Perhaps the following list of things that helped us would be helpful for anyone who would be interested in taking a similar trip:
1) Research your route thoroughly. I surfed the net for all the child-friendly places between here and SLC. Since we're bleeding money these days, I looked for free places such as malls with play areas, libraries, parks (for those traveling in good weather) and museums (although many charge). Our best find that came in very handy on the trip was the Peace Cafe in Monticello, UT. The two women working that day were gracious enough to let us bring our cold, little babies in to change clothes in their bathroom and basically take over the front room until we could get organized enough to order their very healthy and refreshing food.
2) Bring new toys and activities and introduce them periodically. One very handy thing I made for the trip was a map of our route which I had laminated. I brought stickers so my oldest could mark where we were on the map as we went. Practically eliminated the "are we there yet?" interrogations.
I also am proud to say that a DVD player was not necessary on our trip. We brought a portable DVD player that we had planned on hooking up to our electric outlet in the car but it didn't end up working. The boys watched one show the entire time - going and returning. I think it helped that one of us sat back with the children as much as possible in order to entertain them. It also made the trip less boring for us too.
3) Be precise about packing belongings in the car. Before we left, I studied our Honda Odyssey and planned how to best use every nook and cranny. For instance, the Odyssey has a compartment under the floor which we used for emergency supplies that we wanted to have but didn't expect to need. Also, I found cardboard boxes which would fit under the chairs and put the baby jars of food in them. They were out of the way yet they were still handy.
4) If you see a truck with a spotlight but no obvious police lights, don't pass him just in case. Yep. He tricked me but he didn't pull me over. He just flipped his siren on just as I was passing him and made my heart leap into my throat.
5) Make sure tires, wiper blades, oil, etc. in car are good. I did not anticipate that our wiper blades would be a problem since they worked well in the rain. Unfortunately, they didn't work well in the snow. We replaced them and everything was fine.
6) Bring all medications (particularly for the kids) even if they're not taking them now. For example, I brought the breathing treatment medicines that my boys occasionally have to take. One child was finishing up his treatment but I went on and packed all the boys' meds and we ended up needing it because every one of them got sick. I also packed the nebulizer which was definitely needed.
7) Child safety supplies. If you're going somewhere that won't be childproofed such as a hotel it helps to bring some basic child proofing materials. I brought outlet covers because I knew I didn't want to be chasing the twins around from one outlet to the next on the evenings we had to stop on the way to SLC. It proved very helpful. Unfortunately, I forgot to get them when we left so the maids probably thought I was on crack.
8) It's all how you look at it. We bought a CD at the Peace Cafe that we ended up playing quite a bit on the trip. It was nice that one of the songs was an uplifting one about how it's up to us to chose how we look at things. I noticed my husband would sneak that song in about the time I'd be losing my mind. It's true though. We do have a choice and it helped to remind myself of that.
So, tonight, when I put my little dude down to sleep again, I'll tell him this amazing story about the three little boys who went on an adventure and the story will be filled with giggles and laughs and happy little boys and, even though it was not always like that, the story will be true.
Peace and happy New Year!
When I had told people that we were going to drive from Dallas, TX, to Salt Lake City, UT, with our 3 boys (oldest being 3 years old), they thought I was plum mad. I agreed pretty much but it was what we had to do in order to go have Christmas with my husband's family. We very much wanted to go. Who would be crazy enough to pass on spending time with a groovy family, in a beautiful, winter wonderland of a city during the holiday season? So, balancing the crazies, we decided it would be crazier not to go and flying just wasn't an option.
After being stripped of my lazy, "can't do it" ways after becoming a parent, I've almost rebelled against my previous tendencies by making my life just a little more hectic and nuts. Ok, so I couldn't find a lot of people who had driven that far (2 full days) with 3 boys as young as mine but we still have to try, don't we? So we planned and planned and planned and we did it and we enjoyed it and we'll never regret it.
To say it went smoothly would be absolute garbage but to say it was as bad as my fears had been prior to leaving would also be wrong. It was fun, exciting and hard. Very hard. It would have been a lot harder though if we hadn't planned it out so well. If there are any of you who are as insane as us, you have our sympathy. Perhaps the following list of things that helped us would be helpful for anyone who would be interested in taking a similar trip:
1) Research your route thoroughly. I surfed the net for all the child-friendly places between here and SLC. Since we're bleeding money these days, I looked for free places such as malls with play areas, libraries, parks (for those traveling in good weather) and museums (although many charge). Our best find that came in very handy on the trip was the Peace Cafe in Monticello, UT. The two women working that day were gracious enough to let us bring our cold, little babies in to change clothes in their bathroom and basically take over the front room until we could get organized enough to order their very healthy and refreshing food.
2) Bring new toys and activities and introduce them periodically. One very handy thing I made for the trip was a map of our route which I had laminated. I brought stickers so my oldest could mark where we were on the map as we went. Practically eliminated the "are we there yet?" interrogations.
I also am proud to say that a DVD player was not necessary on our trip. We brought a portable DVD player that we had planned on hooking up to our electric outlet in the car but it didn't end up working. The boys watched one show the entire time - going and returning. I think it helped that one of us sat back with the children as much as possible in order to entertain them. It also made the trip less boring for us too.
3) Be precise about packing belongings in the car. Before we left, I studied our Honda Odyssey and planned how to best use every nook and cranny. For instance, the Odyssey has a compartment under the floor which we used for emergency supplies that we wanted to have but didn't expect to need. Also, I found cardboard boxes which would fit under the chairs and put the baby jars of food in them. They were out of the way yet they were still handy.
4) If you see a truck with a spotlight but no obvious police lights, don't pass him just in case. Yep. He tricked me but he didn't pull me over. He just flipped his siren on just as I was passing him and made my heart leap into my throat.
5) Make sure tires, wiper blades, oil, etc. in car are good. I did not anticipate that our wiper blades would be a problem since they worked well in the rain. Unfortunately, they didn't work well in the snow. We replaced them and everything was fine.
6) Bring all medications (particularly for the kids) even if they're not taking them now. For example, I brought the breathing treatment medicines that my boys occasionally have to take. One child was finishing up his treatment but I went on and packed all the boys' meds and we ended up needing it because every one of them got sick. I also packed the nebulizer which was definitely needed.
7) Child safety supplies. If you're going somewhere that won't be childproofed such as a hotel it helps to bring some basic child proofing materials. I brought outlet covers because I knew I didn't want to be chasing the twins around from one outlet to the next on the evenings we had to stop on the way to SLC. It proved very helpful. Unfortunately, I forgot to get them when we left so the maids probably thought I was on crack.
8) It's all how you look at it. We bought a CD at the Peace Cafe that we ended up playing quite a bit on the trip. It was nice that one of the songs was an uplifting one about how it's up to us to chose how we look at things. I noticed my husband would sneak that song in about the time I'd be losing my mind. It's true though. We do have a choice and it helped to remind myself of that.
So, tonight, when I put my little dude down to sleep again, I'll tell him this amazing story about the three little boys who went on an adventure and the story will be filled with giggles and laughs and happy little boys and, even though it was not always like that, the story will be true.
Peace and happy New Year!
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