Jaded

Going to the grocery store shouldn't be a big deal. Of course, hauling the dudes in and then getting through the whole process of selecting, buying, bagging, and leaving isn't uneventful and is often punctuated with moments of, "don't touch that!" or "you're ok, baby," and "we'll be leaving soon, hon." Today was no different with one exception: an odd moment with a stranger.

I'm used to people ogling the twins. It happens practically every time we go somewhere and usually multiple times per outing. Today, I only had the twins with me because we had just dropped Neil off for school so I pulled into the parking lot and opened both side doors of our lovely minivan. Not completely unexpectedly, a man approached me to ask about the twins. Never one to dilly dally, I proceeded to pull the stroller out while talking with him. He said the usual things at first and seemed to be just a normal, nice guy but then he started to tip over into the "what is this guy up to?" category.

He got closer to the car and to Dylan who happened to be on that side of the car and started talking baby talk which is fine but I didn't feel comfortable with him getting closer to Dylan. At surprising speed, my brain processed the situation like a detective: unknown white male in his 50s, possibly retired, wearing tropical shirt and slightly disheveled appearance. Outwardly friendly but unknown intentions. Uncomfortably close to my babies and overly solicitous of their attention. So, is this guy purely just a sweet man who likes babies or is he up to something?

Meanwhile, I'm still just trying to go in the store. The only thing preventing me from doing that is this man who has now gotten between Dylan and I so that I can't actually reach in and get him so, as politely as I can, I firmly tell him, "excuse me" so that I can get Dylan out of the car. He quickly moved out of the way which makes me feel better although I'm not sure about this guy still. I put Dylan in the stroller and looked up to see the man sticking his head through the car toward Evan who is on other side. WTF, dude? He is trying to get Evan to smile and Evan wonders who the heck he is just like me. Good boy, Evan!

Rather than leave Dylan near the man, I wheeled the stroller around to Evan's side in order to get him out. This whole time the man had been rattling on about how wonderful children are and how he was on his way to read to 3 year olds. Ordinarily, I would have asked him where he was going to be doing that but, frankly, I didn't care. The nice side of me thought that perhaps he was just a nice, retired guy that likes to spend time with children. The cynical side of me thought that he fit sexual predator characteristics and that he enjoyed being near children whether he managed to assault or not. Of course, I'm not proud to feel that way but I owe it to my children to not put them at risk.

Thankfully, the interaction soon ended and, although he went into the same store that I did, I didn't run into him again while I was there. As he walked away finally, he told me that he wished us a good life and he made a special point to say, "a good life, not just a good day." I thanked him for his kind statement but I just couldn't believe him and I didn't truly accept his words. If anything, he further confirmed my idea that he was borderline coo coo or disingenuous. Perhaps it wasn't the words that he said but how he said it. It had a fraudulent air to it but he seemed convinced that he felt everyone would trust him. That's fine but I didn't.

Am I the coo coo one for not trusting this man? Perhaps. Did I owe it to this man to trust him? No. Although I like to be nice to people, I owe it to my children to protect them even if that means that I might hurt someone's feelings. If the man was just a nice guy with no ulterior motives, he could benefit from learning to back off a bit. I know I'm not the only mom who has found herself aghast at the behavior of strangers toward their children. If he was a freak, then I'm glad to be rid of him.